From Darkness to Light

Artwork by Lauren Anderson

My last blog was on the sounds of silence, and if I'm to be honest with you, I haven't had much silence since that morning! I've been in a place of having to focus and concentrate to hear the Lord in the midst of many voices and at times pure chaos. That right there can give you a headache, and I've had quite a few lately. Allergy season has kicked in full gear, and it has brought with it a bombardment of sneezing and frequent headaches. 

It has been during this time that my concentration keeps drifting to how the Lord has brought about an understanding of some of my dreams. I'm not talking about aspirations. I'm speaking of literal dreams. We all have them, and many times our subconscious is telling us something or maybe a fear is revealing itself, but there are times when God speaks to us as we sleep and shows us things through our dreams. Last Sunday I heard an awesome message on "From Darkness to Light." Our dreams come in the darkness (night), and they are often God's way of bringing us into the Light.

I had this one particular dream back in October. I was driving down a dark road with someone in the passenger seat. I was frightened and apprehensive about the direction I was going, and the road seemed to end. I got scared as I got closer to the end of the road, but the passenger never wavered in knowing the road would not just end. Me, I feared where it would take me and how it would end! I tried to stop the car, but there was no stopping it. The road was taken.

I had been in earnest prayer about a decision that would change the direction of my life. Because the passenger had been down a similar path as the one I was on, I combined my feelings of fear of the unknown destination and the choices I knew the passenger to have made in their own life, and I started looking at the dream logically through my human understanding and eyes. I shared it with a friend who did the same thing, so I backed off from making the choice to change my path, but that did not last. 

Through prayer I kept coming back to what I knew I needed to do. No one around me understood why I had to change the road my life was traveling. I was told it wasn't God's will for me to go down the road I was taking. I was criticized and made out to be many things, but I knew. That dream was brought up to me by the friend I shared it with as a rebuttal that I was making the wrong choice. I was even told that God had shown the meanings of my dreams to this person, all pointing to the fact I was making a huge mistake in the choice I made, and I was even told that I would have to live with the consequences of it.

Recently, I sat in the house of the passenger from my dream and had a conversation with her and a young man dear to my heart. He made a comment directed at me concerning my path change. It felt like a jab. In my defense the passenger spoke up and made a comment, and it was at that moment it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew at that point what my dream had been telling me back six months prior. The fear and apprehension I felt in my dream was not God warning me that path was wrong. The fear and apprehension were natural because of the weightiness of the choice before me, and just as in the dream, there was no stopping the path change. I was meant to take the road. The person in the passenger seat was there for a reason. You see, I had held anger in my heart against that person for going down the same road. I believed her choice to be the wrong one, and I had judged her for it. I never saw her pain. I only saw what I thought logically was the right choice. The words she said in my defense were a reflection of all the pain I had been hiding from the world for years, and when she said those words, I knew she said them from her own understanding of them because she had done exactly what I had; she hid all of her pain for years. 

The young man saw the look on my face (a look of revelation mingled with the pain of my treatment of the passenger), and he asked me if I was upset with him. I wasn't; I was upset with myself. I asked for a moment as tears pooled in my eyes. I told no one what I had "seen" in that flash of a moment. But the following day I sat across from the passenger, and I cried as I told her how sorry I was for not seeing her pain. I asked for her forgiveness for judging her and the path she HAD to take. It was not ever meant for me to judge, and then God showed me that all along He was revealing to me that through my path change, He would restore me to a right relationship and a true understanding with the passenger, so yeah, that is a consequence I'm willing to live with because that passenger was someone I haven't loved the way I should for many years all because I held bitterness in my heart against her. I didn't even realize I had the bitterness there because I felt justified in judging her. The fear I had felt was natural. It was a scary change, but the consequences of my choice to go down the road I was traveling in my dream, the consequences are healing and deliverance, and I'll take those consequences any day. 

You are probably wondering what the moral to this story is, and I have to say I think it is simply to pray for understanding from God on all things He speaks to you, as well as the things He may show you through dreams. Don't just take the word of a friend because that friend may be looking through human eyes at the situation. You see, God sees the whole picture. He knows the things that have been held in secret. He knows the pain you've been through even when you've worn a mask for others to see for years. God knows, and even if the path He shows you that you are to travel seems scary and dark, the destination is always healing and deliverance if He is the one guiding you! He takes you from darkness to light.

Be blessed and be made whole,

Schledia

Sounds of Silence

Artwork by Lauren Anderson

I woke up this morning to the sounds of silence. Ah, how I long for times when I can bask in silence. No television blared. No one was speaking. No one was demanding my attention. I've been a mom for 24 years now, so finding moments of silence is not easy. I laid in the bed with silence surrounding me, and I was able to hear God.

It got me to thinking about the prayer closet. I wonder if maybe, just maybe, one of the reasons we're told to go to a prayer closet is for the silence in order to be able to hear Him. Think about our daytime life. The hustle and bustle of everyday life is loud and boisterous. Sometimes the noise is so loud that is drowns out the Voice of God, but late at night after all the pandemonium has died down and early in the morning before the chaos begins, sound travels without hindrance. Scientifically speaking, the temperature of the time has an affect  on the sound waves and their ability to go further and be heard a little louder as well, and that thought made me think of Adam in the garden when Jesus would come walk with him in the "cool" of the day! When the "heat" or the trial is on, we may not feel God's presence or hear His voice. It doesn't mean He's not there. It just means the heat has slowed down the sound waves of His voice, and the commotion of the day combined with that makes Him seem farther away.

We should search for that prayer closet, that place far away from the noise of the world. Rise early in the morning or stay up late at night to have time for just you and the Lord. His voice is easier to hear when it is just the two of you. For me, early in the morning is the time when I love to bask in His presence. For you it may be easier to set aside time at night. It's not about the time of day you listen for Him as much as it is about when it is easier for His Voice to make it past all the distractions. 

Be blessed and be made whole,

Schledia

Kissed Goodbye

 Artwork by Lauren Anderson

Yesterday I mentioned the Judases in our lives. We all have them. They are those who portray themselves as friends and say they love us, but they love themselves more, so they will and do betray us in the end. They are the ones who turn us over to be crucified! 

Jesus commands us to take up our cross and follow after Him. Wow, that's not really how the Christian life is advertised by many today. We hear so much of the, "Give your life to God. It will be grand," speeches that we are shaken when we read the words of Jesus, and He says to us to take up our cross. 

The cross is that which Jesus was crucified upon. So, we can logically surmise that if Jesus told us to take up our own cross, then we too will be crucified. Yes, some are martyrs and are crucified or tortured in the natural, but I want to focus on the spiritual implication of what Jesus said for us to do and how that applies to the Judases in our lives. 

Crucifixion brings death, and it is by no means a pleasant, peaceful death. It is long, torturous, and excruciatingly painful. In the spiritual realm, it is the parts of us that God wants to rid us of that are meant to die as a result of our spiritual crucifixions. I heard a minister say once that Jesus couldn't nail the nails into his hands and feet; it took a person to do it, just as it took Judas to turn him over for the processes leading to his crucifixion. 

My best friend read my blog yesterday and mentioned that Judas had to love Jesus. How could he not after spending all that time with him? I was asked. It got me to thinking. I think that's why we are told to love the Lord with all our heart. We can love Him and not love Him like we should, and when we don't love Him like we should, we are vulnerable to betraying Him. 

Those people in our lives that have been close to us, close enough to know where we will be and when we will be vulnerable to attack, they betray us with a kiss to be handed over for death. I've found myself as of late not wanting to handle that hand over in the same manner Jesus did. He put the ear back on that soldier, and I find myself wanting to say, "Yep, you got what you deserved there, buddy!" And then as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I feel conviction for desiring punishment upon those who have wronged me. I'm struggling. Can I be honest? I'm struggling to be like Jesus when it comes to being led to the cross. So, I pray, and I ask God to help me to walk in forgiveness towards those, and then I find myself being given the strength to pray for those taking me to my death. I've found myself, like Jesus, before accusers unable to say a word in my own defense, not because there weren't words that could have been said, but simply because God would not allow me to speak in my own defense. 

It doesn't feel good to be crucified. It hurts, and like Jesus, we will mostly be alone during the process of it. We aren't meant to buck against the process, which I do all the time. We aren't meant to curse those handing us over. We aren't meant to try to defend ourselves against the false accusations. We aren't meant to do anything but to cry out to God and say, "Father, forgive them."

So, look around you. Are you in a garden praying for God to take a burden from you? Are you being kissed by a betrayer? Are you being accused before the masses? Are those things in you that desire to rise up being put to death? View that kiss as a goodbye kiss to the things in you that need to die. Rather than looking at the pain of the process, look for the power in the final product!

Be blessed and be made whole,

Schledia

Betrayed by Affection

 Artwork by Lauren Anderson

Yesterday I was thinking about the kiss Judas gave Jesus. A kiss is something we don't give away to just anyone. It reflects a certain level of love. There are many friends I love dearly, but I don't know them well enough to give them a kiss on the cheek. Sure, I'd give them a hug and tell them I love them, but to give a friend a kiss on the cheek says there's a certain level of closeness to that relationship. Yet, Judas chose to betray Jesus with a symbol of intimate friendship.

If you and I would have been onlookers that dreaded night in the garden, we would have likely surmised by that kiss that Judas loved Jesus with all his heart.  Would our eyes have shifted to the soldiers standing amongst the multitudes who entered the garden with Judas? Would we have seen that Judas had a plan all along? Would we have recognized that the affection Judas showed to Jesus was a false affection meant to make others believe he loved the Lord? Would we have diverted our attention in the right direction to see the whole thing was a set up, meant to lead them to Him? 

As I thought about Judas and the way he betrayed Jesus with a kiss, my mind sifted through events in my own life that I've watched. I've seen Judas out and about, betraying people with a hug and a kiss. I'm sure you have as well. 

As I meditated on the passage of scripture the Lord placed on my heart yesterday about Judas's kiss, I asked Him what the lesson was He wanted me to learn. Immediately in my mind flashed a meme I had recently seen. It was a picture of two people hugging, and one had arrows in his back. It was the "friend" hugging him who had pierced him. It read, "The most dangerous creature on earth is a fake friend." Judas was supposed to be Jesus's close friend, yet he betrayed Jesus with a kiss. Not all of the people who come into our lives will truly be our friends. Some people are used by the enemy to turn us over to be crucified. I could go on about that, but I'll save it for tomorrow. 

Lord, I pray you give me discernment to know those who are in my life because they truly love me and those who are a Judas. I pray you help me as an onlooker to see when someone is being a Judas towards others. Give me eyes to see the true nature of people.

Winter

 Artwork by Lauren Anderson

I teach a young boy, and right now he is learning about the seasons. Today we've already began a weather chart and talked about two seasons, Winter and Spring. Our lesson gave me a different view of the seasons we go through in our own personal lives.

I've always heard the winter season being referred to in a bit of  a negative light. The focus has always been on everything dying and much slower growth, and I've heard people talking about how they are going through their winter and how it seems as if God is far away, but the lesson we just learned was all about the beauty of the winter season, and I think that same beauty can be applied to our personal lives as well as our walk with the Lord. 

Yes, Winter is cold, and right now in my own life and walk, I'm learning that not everyone who surrounds you carries with them the warmth of love...some people in our lives make love seem distant. While you might be thinking, but Pinky, you just mentioned a negative aspect of Winter, I beg to differ. Our Winter (when those who do not truly carry love for us is revealed) is a positive time. Yes, it's a little painful, but it is truth being revealed. Winter is when plant life dies. Relationships in our life will die during this time, but this is not a bad thing. In fact, without it, our Spring will not flourish as it should. 

You see, our lesson today was all about how Winter is a time for rest and repair. Our personal winters are a time for things to die back in our lives so our spirit can be repaired. It's a little colder; we won't have as many friends full of love and support around, and things will die, including relationships, but none of those things are negative or for our demise. Those things happen because its time for healing and repairing. 

I've been going through this season as I type. Relationships have died in my life, and I was devastated at one point. It hurt. But then again, I was looking at it the way I'd always heard winter seasons referred to, as a tough time in our spiritual walk. After today's lesson, I reevaluated my recent walk and could see how my Winter has been for my own good. God needed me to rest. He needed to heal me. I was wounded, and my wounds were deep. I sought for His healing for years, but it took me going into a winter where things died back in my life in order for Him to begin repairing me. 

If you happen to be going through a winter season and relationships are dying off in your life, don't view it through a negative scope. Pray and seek the Lord. Ask Him if you are in a time of rest and repair; then accept the season. Allow God to cause those things that are likely preventing your healing and repair to die. There's pain involved in surgical procedures, and it's much like a surgery to have people we love plucked out of our lives, but once the surgeon removes that which needed to be removed, healing can begin. 

Be blessed and be made whole,

Schledia

The Beauty of Weeds

Artwork by Lauren Anderson

I'm a mom of five, three of which are boys. I love my children more than I can describe in words, and that's saying a lot considering I'm a writer. When my boys were little they used to pick what they believed to be beautiful flowers for mommy while they played out in the yard. I'd hear the pitter patter of little feet and shoes as they raced into the kitchen to give mommy their gorgeous gift. Their eyes gleamed with excitement over my expression as I took the pretty flower from their hand and made over their present. They were clueless to the fact they gifted mom with a weed!

My boys are nearly grown now. My youngest is soon to be sixteen. I haven't had weeds picked for me in quite some time until recently. I started teaching a young boy at the beginning of the year. He is dear to my heart. I love him as my own. The other day he asked if he could play outside for a little while. He came back in a few minutes later with a bright smile on his face and a beautiful gift for me in his tiny hand. I took the flower from him, kissed him on the forehead, and thanked him for thinking of me when he saw the pretty flower. I glanced down at it as he walked away and smiled at the reminder of the weeds picked for me when my three were little like that. 

That sweet little story got me to thinking. That can be a dangerous thing! ;-) My children used to watch Veggie Tales when they were young, and I watched the show they had about how rumors are like weeds. While that is true, some people are also like weeds. To the world, they are seen as pretty flowers. They stand before a mirror for an hour every morning, and they go to work and present themselves as a beautiful flower. Weeds multiple in abundance. Their flowers take over neglected ground. Innocent people are often like those sweet little boys. In their naivety they are unaware the ground they see before them is untended, and all they see are beautiful blossoms sprouting all over the place. Some of those weed-folk (that's what I'll call them) bloom all over social media in an attempt to make others see something on the surface, but that surface flower is nothing more than a disguise, hiding the invasive root system underneath. These people often say what makes them appear to be one thing (a pretty flower for example) when under the surface they have tentacles--much like roots--weaseling through the ground unseen and choking out the life of others. 

I know the sweet little story I started off with led to a message about the truth of weeds and people who are like weeds. The two might even seem contradictory, and readers may be wondering how I went from one thing to the other. I'm not sure how to answer that, outside of my original statement that the sweet little story got me to thinking! I've seen a lot of surface representation that says one thing while underneath there is a fibrous root system of anger and bitterness that seeks to smile on the surface as it destroys others with its poison. Weeds take over everything, so when you see something that seems to be popping up with a surface appeal all over the place, don't automatically assume what you are seeing is the real deal. You might want to check and see what's lingering beneath the surface.